I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You dont lie about slip and slides
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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