THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
