He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
