We're like a lot better than the average bears
i was born a porn star she said
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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