Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
