don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
