It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
