Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
