Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
