please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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