you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
