The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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