evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
