i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
