I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
