Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
