lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
