i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
