I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
