Christians are straight up FREAKS
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
