This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
