That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
