just tell him i said nine months
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
