I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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