I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
