Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
