Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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