You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
sex in a hospital.. check
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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