Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
