Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just want nice things and good sex
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I lost the right to judge tonight
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
