i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
