Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
