I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
