I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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