So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Even my vagina gasped.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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