He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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