big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
