He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
