I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
