Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
