Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
