she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
