i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
