At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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