id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
