She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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