I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
