I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
