All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
