Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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