i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
