This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
